News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something… Pluto is there. The artist remembered Pluto. Guys… The artist drew Pluto crying.
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
Physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved...– Maurice Sendak (via tyleroakley)
killself: REMEMBER WHEN THEY TOLD US NOT TO SPEAK TO STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET
tyleroakley: sh4ne: If the gays were a religious group the government would protect their marriage rights so I think the gays should just found the Church of the Latter Gay Saints. I’m in.
Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.
tyleroakley: cybergay: How many tumblr users does it take to screw in a lightbulb without getting offended? Fuck you, my uncle died while installing a lightbulb. Omg.
Me: Well, time to get off my computer and go to bed.
Me: Okay, now that I'm in bed, let's check the Internet from my phone.
tyleroakley: tacobellsprout: When I’m elderly I’m going to tell strangers to carry me from place to place while singing to me or else I will curse their families for always and eternity. My new retirement plan.
tyleroakley: ur1s-1ik3-th1s: colderfountains: i hate it when people have ur1s-1ik3-th1s Excuse you Oh my God.